Kristen's Eng. 328 Blog

Prompt Five: The "key elements" of style.

2004-07-20T13:30:00.000-07:00

Prompt Five: The "key elements" of style.

After reading Strunk and White, and Williams, there are a number of characteristics that make up "good style." While both books discussed clarity, and "wordiness," Strunk and Williams also discussed grammar and syntax.

Each book discuss clarity, but at different lengths. Strunk and Williams state that one needs to "Be clear" while Williams devotes the entire first chapter of his book on how to be clear. Strunk and White do not physically place the emphasis on clarity, either, as Williams does; their section on clarity is only part of a page, buried in the fifth chapter and Williams section on clarity is the first chapter.

Another element of style all three authors agree is important is "wordiness," or as Williams called it, concision. Again, Strunk and Williams only place a minor amount of emphasis on this "overwriting" while Williams devotes an entire chapter on learning how to form concise sentences and paragraphs. Although one can argue that the entire book by Strunk and Williams is general geared towards clarity, Williams makes his emphasis apparent in the very beginning.

Another difference seen between the books is how detailed each concept is discussed. Williams explains clarity and concision in detail, while Strunk and White do not. They place their emphasis on grammar and syntax. The first words on the first page in their book are "Form the posessive singular of nouns by adding 's" (1). Williams never even mentions this kind of syntax. Strunk and White seem much more detail oriented where grammar is concerned. Williams seems more interested in writing as a whole such as how to form clear sentences and clear transitions between sentences and paragraphs, how to use proper emphasis, and form concise sentences and paragraphs.

Clearly, the books are organized very differently and are aimed at different audiences. Strunk and White's text would be more use to students who need to know their boundaries with writing than Williams'. Williams book is aimed at professionals who want to "improve the style and the structure of their reports, anslyses, articles, memoranda, proposals, monographs, [and] books" (Preface, ix). Even the size and structure of the books is significant here. Strunk and WHite's book is small, like a pocketbook and is set up like a reference book. Williams' text is larger and requires the learner to read it entierly before they will be able to fully understand it. For these reasons, Strunk and White's book may be more popular among the student population.

Strunk and White are also more traditional writers whereas WIlliams is contemporary which could account for the difference in audience consideration. Strunk was a professor at Cornell; White was his student. White is also famous for his creative non-fiction, his contributions to the magazine, The New Yorker, and for his book Charlotte's Web. Both Strunk and White have been dead for quite some time and wrote their book during the Civil Rights Movement; as a result, the wording and examples in the text reflect the attitude during this time period. Their book takes on a defensive tone, especially being written by two white, professional males. On the other hand, Williams is a professor at the University of Chicago and his writing is geared towards businesspeople of today. His contemporary style of writing is reflected in his examples which he pulls from business manuals, medical documents, insurance papers, and other professional documents used in the working world.

After reading both books, it was agreed that there were definately two different audiences intended for these books and both books serve a purpose to certain readers. Students who have difficulty limiting their word choice to concise words may find Strunk and White more useful. Others who want to enhance their professional writing skills in the business world may find Williams a better choice. On the whole, both books would be good references in the future for anyone looking to clear up many common writing errors.

Prompt Four: Blog Commentary

2004-07-20T12:36:00.000-07:00

Prompt Four: Blog Comments

Prompt Two: Williams' Style: Toward Clarity and Grace
Williams, Joseph M. Style: Toward Clarity and Grace. Chicago: The University of Chicago Press, 1990.

Edward. My Blogs. 20 July 2004. <http://choconado.blogspot.com/>.

Collin. Blogs. 20 July 2004. <http://collins.blogspot.com/>.

For this assignment, English 328 students were to read each one another's blog postings and comment on them. During my previous post I stated that Strunk and White's "The Elements of Style" was too simplified. Now I realize that it is only too simplified from a certain perspective. Others may see it as exactly what they need. One classmate, Collin, describes a personality in need of Strunk and White's manual when he says "...I am the kind of person that dumps a whole bag of coffee grounds into a filter for one cup of coffee. When I do something, I do it extensively. With writing, I have convinced myself that the more big words, the longer the sentence, the more flowery the language, the better the writing....Strunk and White did me a huge favor when they told me to, "Omit needless Words", "Use the Active Voice", "Do not construct awkward Adverbs", "Avoid Fancy Words." This is a huge favor because I thought people who were authorities on writing wanted all of those things that Elements of style told me to get rid of." From Collin's perspective this book would be very useful. It had not occurred to me that simple is sometimes better. In addition, I also agree that Strunk and White's book is better from a teaching perspective and have stated so in my other prompts. Strunk and White's book is more of a pocket book you can carry with you and use for quick reference. Williams, on the other hand, is more like a textbook which needs to be read in its entirety in order to understand the examples which demonstrate principles explained throughout the text.

On the other, I agree with Collin and Edward when Edward comments on how Williams' book makes us feel silly for feeling foolish after reading Strunk and White. "The most concise bit on his [Collin's] opinion comes when he states that "reading Joseph Williams made me feel like a fool for feeling foolish about my Strunk and White experience." If anything, Williams is flexible when it comes to the rules he writes about. There are many cases in his book where he'll actually say that the particular rule he’s writing about isn't without several exceptions, and that there are places where acceptable alternatives are available." After reading Strunk and White, many of us had the feeling that their book set forth rules which were never to be broken. The book was a bit commanding and most of us felt foolish for not knowing the rules Strunk and White set forth. After we read Williams' book, we then felt silly for feeling foolish about Strunk and White because Williams shows how the rules can be followed with exception.

Perhaps what makes us feel most foolish about Strunk and White's text is how simple the examples are. However, according to Williams' "...clear writing does not require Dick-and-Jane sentences. Almost all of the revisions are shorter than the originals, but the objective is not curtness; what counts is not the number of words in a sentence, but how easily we get from the beginning to end while understanding everything in between" (25). Williams states here that it is ok to deviate from the simplistic whereas Strunk and White stress for almost 100 pages that simple is better. This may be one example of why we felt foolish after reading Strunk and WHite and then again after reading Williams.

Overall, I think most of us thought Strunk and White was commanding and Williams' was too detailed. However, both books serve similar purposes to different audiences which may be why some of us like one more than the other.

Prompt Three: Compare and Contrast

2004-07-19T14:16:00.000-07:00

Prompt Three: Compare and Contrast

Strunk Jr., William, and E.B. White. The Elements of Style. New York: Longman, 2000.
Williams, Joseph M. Style: Toward Clarity and Grace. Chicago: The University of Chicago Press, 1990.

As discussed in my recent posts, William Strunk and E.B. White, and Joseph Style have written guidebooks on writing, style, and grammar. Having read and discussed both books, it is apparent that there are some significant similarities and differences.

First, the writers' audiences were different. Strunk and White's audience was the stereotypical professional, white male. Williams book is more contemporary and his examples indicate a more diverse audience and although Williams' book was written for writers who want to "improve the style and structure of their reports, analyses, articles, memoranda, proposals, monographs, [and] books" the examples used targeted a more diverse population than professional, white males (Preface, ix). For instance, many of the examples in Strunk and White refer to "his," "him," or "he." There is no acknowledgement that anyone other than the stereotypical audience would have use for their book. Williams acknowledges that other cultures have different styles of writing when he discusses where the main point of the paragraph or paper should be located;"...this kind of main POINT-last writing is distinctly disfavored in most other kinds of professional discourse in our culture. We say in "our culture" because in some cultures, it is considered discourteous to state a POINT clearly and directly at all, much less early" (107). So, where Strunk and White have attempted to simplify good writing style to the point that their audience is very narrow, Williams has tried to explain in great detail how do develop style.

Strunk and White's manual is very cut and dry with little or no explanation whereas Williams' text is extremely detailed and full of explanations. Strunk and White's text is very commanding and sets forth rules for grammar and punctuation which seem unbreakable. The first rule in their book states that one need to "form the posessive singular of nouns by adding 's" regardless of the final consonant (1). However, every teacher I have ever known has said not to add an 's to the end of word which already ends in "s," and many accomplished writers do not adhere to this rule. On the other hand, Williams text is full of guidelines and examples which do not seem so commanding. Williams uses words and phrases such as "should" or "may consider revising" when giving advice. Stunk and White state their advice in the form of commands such as "place," "follow," and "must." Although, such wording out of context seem insignificant, when reading almost 100 pages of commands, the difference is very noticeable.

Another example of simplified versus detailed writing is apparent in the first chapter of each book. Williams' even refers to Strunk and White's attempt at simplification of how to write with style when he says, "This is a book about writing clearly. I wish it could be short and simple like some others more widely known, but I want to do more than just urge writers to "Omit Needless Words" or "Be clear." Telling me to "Be clear" is like telling me to "Hit the ball squarely." I know that. What I don't know is how to do it" (1). Every example in Williams' book begins with text introducing an issue about style, an example of poor style, and then an example of improved style with an explanation of why it was improved. Strunk and White frequently offer vague advice such as "Be clear" followed by an explanation of "Clarity, clarity, clarity. When you become hopelessly mired in a sentence, it is best to start fresh; do not try to fight your way through against the terrible odds of syntax" and the rest of the explanation is more of summary of what "unclear" is and not advice on exactly how to write clearly.

Even though Williams' book is more detailed and his examples are explained very well, Strunk and White's book was slightly more effective in communicating the basic principles of style. Because Strunk and White wrote very directly and simplified their explanation, the more experienced reader could be reminded of some common pitfalls concerning writing style. In that sense, their book may have been more effective than Williams. In addition, their book was set up like a reference book with many headings, numbers, and not many paragraphs. Williams' book contained many paragraphs and examples which had to be read together in order to understand his point.

Both books were useful in different ways and were organized very differently. Where Williams' book is more like a traditional textbook which needs to be read cover to cover or at least an entire chapter at a time, Strunk and White's book was more like a pocket book one which can be referred to quickly.

Prompt Two: Williams

2004-07-16T15:18:00.000-07:00

Williams, Joseph M. Style: Toward Clarity and Grace. Chicago: The University of Chicago Press, 1990.

Original Text:

Welcome to Eastern Michigan University. This institution's proud heritage has now become YOUR future--a future in which to learn and grow, to advance toward a career and service, and to seek counsel and advice. Here you will find new friends from Michigan, other states, and around the world.

EMU's focal point is southeastern Michigan--an area surrounded by small cities and towns of which its hometown, Ypsilanti, with 25,000 people, is one. Thirty miles to the east is Detroit, industrial and business hub of the Great Lakes; and an equal distance to the south is Toledo, northernmost city on the Ohio border and a new area of student growth.

Advantageous to all students are not only the cultural activities of the metropolitan areas, both within a 45-minute drive from the campus, but also the resources of its sister city, Ann Arbor, home of The University of Michigan. EMU offers its own cultural opportunities through the artistic accomplishments of its students in theatre and drama, through its extensive music and fine arts programs, and also through its Office of Campus Life, which brings well known speakers and entertainers to its auditoriums and classrooms.

Revised Text:

Welcome to Eastern Michigan University. Our institution's proud heritage has now become your future. During the course of your studies, we hope for you to learn and grow, and advance toward a career and service of your choice. Here you will have the opportunity to seek counsel and advice, personal and professional, and meet new people from the U.S. and around the world.

EMU's focal point includes all of southeastern Michigan, and its diverse hometown ofYpsilanti consists of over 25,000 people. Thirty miles to the east is Detroit, the industrial and business hub of the Great Lakes. Toledo, Ohio's northernmost city, is an equal distance to the south and has become a new area of student growth for EMU.

Many advantageous cultural activities and resources are available to students in the surrounding metropolitan areas as well as in Ann Arbor, Ypsilanti's sister city and home of The University of Michigan. EMU also offers its own cultural opportunities through the artistic accomplishments of its theatre and drama students, music and fine arts programs, and through its Office of Campus Life. Campus Life frequently invites well known speakers and entertainers to EMU auditoriums and classrooms.

Discussion:

This assignment required English 328: Writing, Style, and Technology students to revise any text found in the EMU Course Catalog according to the advice given by Joseph Williams in his book, Style: Toward Clarity and Grace. As shown above, the original text lacked clarity at sentence level, cohesion at paragraph level, proper emphasis, and coherence.

The first problem with the original text was it lacked clarity and structure. Sentences were broken up by comma splices and incorrectly used dashes and semicolons. Williams would agree that the sentence, "This institution's proud heritage has now become YOUR future--a future in which to learn and grow, to advance toward a career and service, and to seek counsel and advice" is difficult to read and contains an awkward sentence fragment after the dashes. The dashes emphasize the end of the sentence and interrupt the flow of the sentence. Separating it into two sentences allows for a clearer understanding of what EMU hopes students' futures will contain and of what opportunities are available.

The second paragraph was also interrupted by dashes and commas. The information contained in the sentence, "EMU's focal point is southeastern Michigan--an area surrounded by small cities and towns of which its hometown, Ypsilanti, with 25,000 people, is one" is lost in the comma splices. According to Williams, "Moving the important information to the end of a sentence is another way to manage the flow of ideas" (69). Both the first and second examples needed an information shift. In the second example, the important information, that "EMU's focal point includes all of southeastern Michigan, and its diverse hometown of Ypsilanti consists of over 25,000 people" is broken up by the comma splices and lost in the interruption. This is why I rearranged the sentence as I did.

The third example, "Thirty miles to the east is Detroit, industrial and business hub of the Great Lakes; and an equal distance to the south is Toledo, northernmost city on the Ohio border and a new area of student growth" contains too much information in one long sentence, and is also interrupted by commas and a semicolon. Again, the sentence needed to be broken into two and the important information shifted to the end of the sentence.

The last paragraph beginning with, "Advantageous to all students are not only the cultural activities of the metropolitan areas, both within a 45-minute drive from the campus, but also the resources of its sister city, Ann Arbor, home of The University of Michigan" is written in the negative instead of the affirmative. We should avoid this because "To understand many negatives, we have to translate them into affirmatives, because the negative may only imply what we should do by telling us what we shouldn't do. The affirmative states it directly" (Williams, 130). By rephrasing the negative into the affirmative, the sentence becomes more clear and direct. The sentence, "Many advantageous cultural activities and resources are available to students in the surrounding metropolitan areas as well as in Ann Arbor, Ypsilanti's sister city and home of The University of Michigan" is affirmative and reorganizes the information so the meaning is not lost its length.

Prompt One: The Elements of Style

2004-07-12T18:23:00.003-07:00

Strunk Jr., William, and E.B. White. The Elements of Style. New York: Longman, 2000.

Prompt I: The Elements of Style

Strunk and White's writing handbook, The Elements of Style, addresses the elementary rules of usage, the elementary principles of composition, matters of form, words and expressions commonly misused, and different approaches to style. The book is written with a very definitive and commanding tone which gives the reader the impression that the rules set forth in this book are the only rules which apply. However, the book is in its fourth edition, meaning times and rules do change. In addition, the book was first published after Strunk had died and then was revised in its fourth edition after White had died. So, there is an unnamed writer who shows up throughout the book and has attempted to make the book more current. Despite the drawbacks to Strunk and White's handbook, there is still information to be learned from it.

The section in The Elements of Style on pronoun usage helps us to distinguish between proper writing and everyday conversation. Many of us write as we speak which is often incorrect. For example, many of us would probably say "Polly loves cake more than me" when what we really mean is "Polly loves cake more than she loves me" (12). The first example, "Polly loves cake more than me" can be misconstrued to mean either that Polly loves cake more than I love cake or that Polly loves cake more than she loves me. Misuse of pronouns in everyday language leaves room for miscommunication.

Another rule of usage I have had trouble understand is the use of "who" versus "whom." One example Strunk and White give is, "Virgil Soames is the candidate whom we think will win" (11). The correct way to write and/or say this is, "Virgil Soames is the candidate who we think will win" (11). The second example given is, "Virgil Soames is the candidate who we hope to elect" (11). In order to tell the difference between when to use "whom" and when to use "who" is to substitute "he/him" or "she/her" in the sentence and then choose "whom" if "him" or "her" is correct and choose "who" if "he" or "she" is correct. For example, "Virgil Soames is the candidate who we think will win. [We think he will win]" (11). In this case, "he" is correct so "who" is the proper pronoun. In the second example, "Virgil Soames is the candidate whom we hope to elect. [We hope to elect him]" (11). "Him" is correct so "whom" is the proper pronoun to select. In other words, "whom" goes with "him/her" and "who" goes with "he/she."

Although the section on pronoun usage was informative, there were some problems in the section on principles of composition which were not helpful and a bit vague. For instance, the advice "Do not affect a breezy manor" is discussed at length but there is reader never gains a clear understanding of what "breezy" is. The closest Strunk and White come to giving a definition is to say that "breezy" is "...the work of an egocentric, the person who imagines that everything that comes to mind is of general interest and that uninhibited prose creates high spirits and carries the day" (73). To me this could mean an author's work is "breezy" if it is wordy, lacks direction, and/or rambles on.

Another piece of advice in the section on principles of composition I found to be of no help was to "be clear." The importance of clarity is expressed but how to write clearly is not. The authors go as far as to say that "Muddiness is not merely a disturber of prose, it is also a destroyer of life, of hope: death on the highway caused by a badly worded road sigh, heartbreak among lovers caused by a misplaced phrase in a well-intentioned letter,..." (79). But again, the text gives no direction or advice on how to establish clarity; it only preaches that clarity is of the utmost importance.

So even though the book does offer some good advice and some bad, it is clear that when earlier editions of the book are compared, times and rules definitely have the power to change and will change eventually. No rule on writing is an absolute even when the most commanding texts are published stating so.

My First Blog Post

2004-06-28T11:16:00.000-07:00

Trial blog post #1.